My husband wants sex.
I want shoes.
“No sex tonight,” I tell him. “I’m tired.”
“I could have sex all the time,” he says. “We need to get you a stand-in. I need a woman who wants it as much as me.”
“I need a stand-in husband too,” I tell him. “I need a man with a bigger… wallet. How about this? You get to sleep around. But, every time you sleep with another woman, I get to buy another pair of shoes.”
He laughs.
I laugh.
But who’s joking?