I don’t think it’s so much a matter of fashion, trends, style, short or long hemlines, stripes or prints or solids, I think it is a matter of self-confidence and image. We are all, no matter what we might say, somehow concerned about the image we project to others. And to some degree, what we choose to wear, says something about ourselves. This might be contrary to some people’s notion of a utopian world where you can go out in pajamas and nobody should “think differently” or prejudge you before they know you, but come on. It has come up again and again in psychological research that the first thing people notice when they see you is your appearance, not your heart of gold. Or your brilliance for that matter. But if you happen to have a heart of gold and are brilliant, I’m sure your appearance is quite noteworthy.

Image is about self-confidence too. You have to have confidence in yourself to know what image you would like to project. I wrote an article on how this can be a subconscious or unconscious process, but nevertheless, it has to occur. It is like an inevitable equation that leads us up to the process of choosing what to wear? So, I bring it to you, that you probably dress in a certain way to promote an image of how you see yourself that hopefully fosters self-confidence. Because, that, is what we all hope to achieve, don’t we? I certainly strive to be self-confident and secure in who I am, and I hope that my image that I put off radiates self confidence. It has been proven time and time again that the most attractive part of a person (that aspect that attracts potential mates or dating partners) is ones subjective level of their self-confidence. That is, the more self-confidence you exude, the more someone will find you attractive! Yes, that is right. It has been scientifically proven that a woman that might be more subjectively beautiful to raters, but has low self-esteem and does not project an air of self-confidence, will not be seen as attractive as the women with a subjectively lower level of attractiveness but radiates more self-confidence than the first one! Amazing! And how do they do it? Well, much of it is psychological, and we tell ourselves things that we believe about ourselves that make us feel confident such as self-affirming statements, surrounding ourself with positive influences, etc. Or by simply saying “I love you” three times in the mirror every morning which has been touted by some psychologists to work! But, seriously, whatever it takes!

So, if you can radiate self-confidence with your attire, why not try? But it is not all up to the clothes, you have to wear them in a specific way. You have to hold yourself high in those stiletto pumps. But back to basics, the main way we appear to others is through our attire, our appearance. And the main way which we feel self-confidence subjectively or personally, is how we look….wouldn’t you agree? I know for certain that I’m having a crappy day when my make-up goes all wrong or I have a huge zit, and I know I feel much better if my outfit was something that I really like or picked out accordingly.

I tend to dress in things that make me feel more confident about myself. This means, accentuating the positive things about me. For example, I have a small chest, so I wear something that accentuates that, like a wrap around sweater that looks good on small-chested women (because in reality most models are flat-chested!, except for Victoria’s Secret and lingerie models.) I like to accent and highlight that which is most flattering about my body, my coloring, my ethnicity, my heritage, my personality, etc. for example, I’m a very cheerful person so I wear bright colors when I feel so inclined. I dress in correspondence with who I am. When there is a disparity between who you are and how you dress, I would imagine there is a level of anxiety and discomfort. I know when I dressed my boyfriend up like a girl for Halloween he felt a little uncomfortable, but for some, that is their thing! So you go girl!

Whatever it is for you that radiates that self-confidence you have inside, or are striving to have, put it on. If it is that hat that makes you look like a movie star, or that headband with the rhinestones that sets you apart from all the other hairdos in the classroom, or that pair of stilettos that gives you that four inch advantage, don it! I am all for the extreme, when you feel down in the dumps. When I feel that I am not the greatest or the latest, I put on a faux-fur wrap around my head (I live in a cold city) and go out onto the streets. Sure I get some laughs from the young kids at Starbuck’s, but a lot of people look at me with some respect for sporting such an elegant and classy look from the past, or perhaps from Russian descent.

When I wear all pink or bright orange, I’m radiating that energy of “I feel good today.” And I do! And that positive affirmation of what I’m wearing corresponding to what I’m feeling really aligns me and creates that self-confidence that I am talking about…

So just remember before you get dressed. Get dressed to impress. Because whatever you wear, it doesn’t matter what it is, but make sure it makes you feel damn good about yourself. Because no matter what, self-confidence will always score higher on ratings of attractiveness than the actual outfit you are wearing or how you are perceived subjectively on ratings of your “true attractiveness” (which doesn’t really exist because of cultural and societal norms, yet research exists, so we’ll just buy into it for the sake of argument.) So, radiate that self-confidence, and not only will others see you as more attractive, but probably be more attracted to be your friend, get to know you or become acquainted with you. This will help you in every aspect of life. So go put on that mink coat your grandma handed down to you that you have been afraid to wear, but don it with confidence, because it is fabulous! And so are you! “Absolutely Fabulous” (BBC) (my greatest inspiration is Patsy, but that will be saved for another article!)