The Telegraph is reporting that a "teenager" named George Garratt has changed his name to – wait for it – Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. I think "The Flash Combined" is a Jewish name that means, "Please don't hire me for this job."

Anyway, The Nitwit Formerly Known As George Garratt changed his moniker because he, "wanted to be unique." The thing is, Elton John already used the name Captain Fantastic, something the Telegraph article oddly doesn't mention.

Why would anyone change their name to something so stupid? Are they that desperate for attention? Am I just uptight? Why is no one talking about this important issue? Oh. The election. Right. Sorry.

Read the rest here.