"2 More Years"
My eyes seem to burn more often now. The stinging sensations draws back the occuring memory of what brought this feeling.this feeling of sadness. of why sometimes id rather me at home then with the rest of my friends. It hurts to go back in time and look at things you have lost. It would bring tears to any man. However, why do i feel so regretful about it all. That for some reason it is all my fault. That if I havn't have done that everything would be fine. Everyone would be jublient and life would be just amazing. The burdens of it all lays on my shoulder. It will not go away.
I laugh when i consider how much more time i have. 2 years, 2 years and im gone. I plan to leave the California scene and make my way to New York. My parents shake their heads of dissaproval when they hear me talk this "nonsense" to them. The whole idea of leaving this pleasent town and going to the dark streets of New York is hard for them to understand. As if life is so perfect already as it is. They don't know the half of it.
I would die if i was excepted into NYU. It would prove that the work Impossible can be broken and conquered. If I can be given that one chance, that one oppertunity of a life time, I will forever be greatful. Where i stand now nothing has been pleasent or easy for me. I always wonder if i could wake up and be happy for once. I worked endlesly for what i want , and most of the time the ending result is not shall i say good. when others have things handed to them on a silver plate with a waiter asking if' they would like anything else?' When it comes down to it I'm never going to let something lik ethat happen to me again. No longer will i give up or be week i have 2 more years and i will break this curse.