In some things when it comes to my genetics I was lucky. I got mom's face and singing voice. Of course along with that came the Pavlick hairiness. (You should've seen my nephew. At 3 years old he was so hairy he looked like a blond werewolf.) I'm the only woman I know who has to shave her forearms.

In a lot of other areas though, I got dad's genes. His tendancy for bushy eyebrows. Thank God for No Tweeze wax! While I have mom's short-but-wide feet, if you look very closely you can see my second toe is a fraction of an inch longer then my big toe - dad's second toe is almost a half an inch longer then his big toe. I have the Russell tendancy to burn, not tan. My hair color comes out of a bottle due to the fact I have the world's most unflattering and boring shade of brown hair thanks to dad's genes. It's so bad that I find myself praying to go prematurely grey.

Mom as a kid only had about two zits total. Dad was so ance prone he has pitted skin.

And of course, I got his genes in this too.

Even now, at 32, I get zits. All shapes and sizes. From tiny little blackheads to these great big rock hard nodes that are like little tumors growing on my face.

I've tried ProActive - it just made it worse and bleached my clothing. Ance Free worked for awhile, then my skin got used to it and it stopped working. I've tried "all natural" acne treatments. I've tried probably every over the counter skin drying medicine there is.

I've used prescription pills and creams. Retin-A burned me too badly. The others would work for a few months, then my body would get used to them and I'd break out more then ever. I had expensive facials at the dermatologist. I've had ones at salons.

Nothing works.

In fact, the only thing I've found that helps a little is a combonation of using Olay's micro-derm/mini-peel kit followed by a mineral mud mask. That, however, only helps bring them to the surface faster.

And then I pop them.

I don't really care about scars. Being fat I figure no one really looks at me anyway. Besides, only one has ever left any sort of scar behind - one that keeps coming up on my chin just under the left hand corner of my mouth.

I own a Zeno and have used it. On some zits it works. On some they never go away - so I prick them with a pin then squeeze.

I have bought at Dollar Tree a cheap zit vacuum. These help bring them to the surface even faster then a mud mask. However after awhile they stop having any suction.

I've thought about getting this one but watching the video it feels almost like it's suppose to be a gag, not a real product.

I know what you'll say, that I'll just make more zits, open myself up to infections, my skin will scar, that I'll have more craters then the moon. But what can I do? Nothing works. I can't take birth control, it turns me into some sort of monster. The prescriptions are expensive and always stop working. There's no over the counter product that really helps.

Perhaps there's even a part of me that enjoys popping my pimples. A tiny bit of self mutilation, a small scale version of "cutting."

I remember as a kid there were always these ads for a special makeover. It was $100 and it included them going over your face with this vacuum to remove blackheads and such. When my acne started I used to beg mom to take me to one of these makeovers, but she never would. And at some point in the late 80s I stopped seeing these commericals. I can still feel though the desire to have someone extract my acne with a vacuum cleaner.

Well, until someone comes up with a product that not only works, but isn't too expensive, I guess I'll keep popping my pimples.